Because you're witty...eventually

Dr. Useless

In Doctors, General on May 22, 2010 at 5:24 pm

The situation: I went to a specialist with a bad cold. After the official reason for this visit, I asked if he could prescribe me some cough medicine.

He said: “I’m not that kind of doctor!”
I said: “Okay.” (sniffling)
Shoulda said: “Oh, you’re the useless kind of doctor!”

(submitted by Pam P)

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Pen Pusher

In General, work on February 10, 2010 at 4:14 pm

The situation: My company instituted a new money-saving policy for supplies. Instead of being in an open cabinet, office supplies are now kept in a locked cabinet and the key was given to the receptionist. They say power corrupts and they know what they’re talking about because it wasn’t long at all before the heretofore sweet receptionist started to take great pleasure in giving all of us a hard time. Yesterday I went to her desk to request a pen.

She asked: “Didn’t I give you a pen just now?”
I said: “It’s a stupid pen. Either give it to me or you can go down to my supervisor’s office and explain why I won’t be getting any work done today.”
Shoulda said: “If by ‘just now’ you mean ‘in December’, then yes. You ‘just’ gave me a pen.”

(submitted by Anitra VP)

Love in Time of Sandwiches

In Gender Warfare, General, Tourist on February 4, 2010 at 2:16 pm

The Situation: When living in Ecuador, men whistled and yelled at me a lot because my lighter complexion made me stand out. I was walking to work one day when I passed a man waiting for a bus, near a sandwich store.

He said: “My love–a sandwich?”
I said: I burst out laughing uncontrollably, startled by his passionate tone of voice combined with the practical topic of sandwiches.
Shoulda said: “I have wished since girlhood that someday Prince Charming would offer me my dream sandwich.”